This morning I was checking out our sister station Movin 107-7 and they were doing the throwback song of the day. Someone picked Tone Loc's Funky Cold Medina. Great song from the 80's that everybody should know. THEN....I started listening to the lyrics. YOOOOOOOO.....It's like a Bill Cosby court case. Give girls a special drink so they "like" you, Dogs humping your leg and...Homophobic much?
The video is below these song lyrics. I've highlighted the creepiest lines.
Cold coolin at a bar, and I'm lookin for some action But like Mike Jagger said, I can't get no satisfaction The girls are all around, but none of them wanna get with me My threads are fresh and I'm lookin def, yo, what's up with L-o-c? The girls is all jockin at the other end of the bar Havin drinks with some no-name chump, when they know that I'm the star So I got up and strolled over to the other side of the cantina I asked the guy, "Why you so fly?" he said, "Funky Cold Medina"Funky Cold Medina
[Verse 2:]This brother told me a secret on how to get more chicks Put a little Medina in your glass, and the girls'll come real quick It's better than any alcohol or aphrodisiac A couple of sips of this love potion, and she'll be on your lap So I gave some to my dog when he began to beg Then he licked his bowl and he looked at me and did the wild thing on my leg He used to scratch and bite me, before he was much much meaner But now all the poodles run to my house for the Funky Cold Medina You know what I'm sayin? I got every dog in my neighborhood breakin down my door I got Spuds McKenzie Alex from Stroh'sThey won't leave my dog alone with that Medina, pal
[Verse 3:]I went up to this girl, she said, "Hi, my name is Sheena"I thought she'd be good to go with a little Funky Cold Medina She said, "I'd like a drink, " I said, "Ehm - ok, I'll go get it" Then a couple sips she cold licked her lips, and I knew that she was with it So I took her to my crib, and everything went well as plannedBut when she got undressed, it was a big old mess, Sheena was a man So I threw him out, I don't fool around with no Oscar Meyer wiener You must be sure that the girl is pure for the Funky Cold MedinaYou know, ain't no plans with a man This is the 80's, and I'm down with the ladies Ya know? Break it down
[Verse 4:]Back in the saddle, lookin for a little affection I took a shot as a contestant on "The Love Connection"The audience voted, and you know they picked a winnerI took my date to the Hilton for Medina and some dinner She had a few drinks, I'm thinkin soon what I'll be gettin Instead she started talkin 'bout plans for our weddinI said, "Wait, slow down, love, not so fast says, I'll be seein' ya" That's why I found you don't play around with the Funky Cold MedinaYa know what I'm sayin That Medina's a monster, y'all