As a couples therapist, Ian Kerner works with lots of folks who feel burned out and fed up with their relationships and some who admit they don’t like their partners as much as they used to and wonder if they should still be together. He also knows what it takes to turn things around to give couples their best chance at a better relationship. These are the good relationship resolutions he suggests couples make for a happier New Year together.
- Have sex once a week- There’s no magic number for how often couples should do it, but studies have shown those who have sex once a week are more satisfied with their relationships overall than those who don’t.
- Make time for each other- It’s easy to have fun at the beginning of a relationship, when everything is fresh and exciting, but the key is to keep that feeling going because continuing to play around and have fun with your partner will keep you happier and more satisfied.
- Practice presence with compassion- Be mindful and stay in the moment when engaging with your partner on anything from coordinating schedules to sharing needs and desires.
- Argue respectfully- Try to approach conflicts with curiosity instead of judging and blaming.
- Envision the future- Talk about the things that both of you would like to work on and achieve together.
- Put your relationship first- A practical way to start this resolution is to ask yourself “Is this good for my relationship?” when making decisions or resolving conflicts.
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